February 10, 2011 § 3 Comments
So I was me and….
I underestimated how tangled the web I’m weaving has gotten. Not of lies, but of boys and their loose threads. By some sort of four to six degrees of desperation, the boy I like, and the boy who broke my heart are going to both be at the show for the cover band that two of my co-workers are demanding I attend. It’s a complete coincidence this love triangle was all invited individually by one connection or another, so I’ll spare you the boring details, but we will all be in attendance Thursday night.
I have to go to the show to support/avoid harassment. Basically everyone I know and gossip with will be there, spanning my work life, alumni relations, even my Sunday farmers market. And they will all be quietly judging this awkward situation, like when a dog licks his balls in the living room. Sadly, I think I’m one of the balls in that scenario.
IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING TO ME?
Not to mention the sweet, shy, guy I am sleeping with and the hot tempered, jealous guy I was sleeping with, face to face. Needless to say, my money’s on the angry ex for the first punch, the other dude really is more of a lover (which is probably why he’s the one getting the nookie).
It’s not that they don’t know the other exists, but I was really trying my best to pretend that one of them had vanished completely. Spontaneous combustion is still my favorite scenario for his disappearance. Sure it was bound to happen sometime with mutual friends, but I am not ready for this to happen now. Serves me right… dipping my pen in company ink, dating everyone in the pool, or shitting where I… ew, well I won’t finish that thought, that’s gross.
It’s the preparation that will kill me. What if they fight over me? That could be an awesome ego boost. What if they chase after me with every intention to pull me apart at the seams like two lions hunting a zebra? Or maybe it will be a beauty competition and they will expose themselves waiting for me to choose? Or worse, what if they hit it off and all of a sudden we’re all BBQing together and they start giving each other sex tips? Ugh, and I haven’t a clue what to wear.