Videos for the Smarty Snatches

December 16, 2011 § 1 Comment

If you read this blog, enjoy it, come back and read more, you know what kind of lady you are. Thank you.  You’re the anti-Sex In The City (although you’ll watch it in syndication wearing a bad lunch face), you are never going to give up on wearing leggings in public since it became socially acceptable two years ago, (it’s freaking comfortable, if guys get to wear baggy jeans, let me have my leggings).  You are okay going to the store without make-up and you save your four inch heels and mini skirts for special occasions only. You’re smart, you know that a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle, but you prefer that man to a vibrator any day, and you aren’t afraid to admit it. Cosmopolitan is a drink you rather have than a magazine you want to read. You’d never be caught dead wearing a monochromatic pink outfit (and you know what monochromatic means).

You wouldn’t follow a Kardashian on twitter if someone paid you, and you don’t give a rodent’s toosh about Pippa Middleton (poor freaking girl). You’re purse is bigger than gram cracker because you need to be prepared to do more than just spend money and talk on the phone. You want to read and celebrate inspiring women for their talent and accomplishments instead of their cleavage and spray tans.

– There are funny videos below, I swear –

For years this kind of talk made us feminists, but extreme feminists get just as bad of a wrap and may be just as annoying as the dumb-bimbo-girls gone-wild-turned-trophy-real-housewives of our unfortunate nation. So I propose a happy medium, but I don’t know what to call it. I like Self Respecting Woman, but perhaps it isn’t as clever as say Smarty Snatches, because real woman can refer to her snatch without a giggle. Okay, maybe a giggle a couple seconds after, but she appreciates the alliteration.

Anyway, here are a few videos that have inspired me lately to be the woman I am. I beleive I’m not alone. There is a new breed of women who aren’t afraid to laugh at a fart joke, who actually like watching football, who will wear really sexy boots, but will get really pissed off if her boss doesn’t look her in the eye on the day she dares to wear a v-neck.

Go ahead, waste some time. It’s Friday.

I love this probably because I have an affinity for Juliette Luis, and if I hear “twinises” out of anyone’s mouth I’ll slap them.

Because South Park is awesome, and the youth of America worships that Beiber kid with the hair cut and Miley Cyrus with her duck face.

Speaking of duck face… when is it going to stop.

And fellow Smarty Snatch, Jenna Marbles. I do not always agree, Jenna, but you are right about Bitches at the Airport. There’s a time and a place for 6 inch heels. It’s called Prom.


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