‘Like’ the damn Post

December 19, 2011 § Leave a comment

There is a lot for you to read out there on the internet abyss. Tons of words, so many topics, videos, funny cats, so little time. We live in an era where “trending” is super important. Through this “trending” became “youtube artists,” and the “twitter authors” which subsequently evolved as acceptable occupations. Somewhere, people with money sign contracts with “trends” and all of a sudden a schmooley getting a million hits because his kid was drugged up after a bad trip to the dentist gets a fat check. This is also how a hippie on acid sees famous double rainbows and careers like Justin Beiber’s are made. That haircut is just as bad as the ‘rachel’. Not sure if the world needed it.

In a class by itself is the Twitter. I don’t get Twitter. Flat out, don’t understand. Sure my twitter is linked to my facebook (because facebook is the new telephone book, remember those bricks of yellow pages). But if I really tried to log into my twitter account, I couldn’t. I’ve forgotten my password, that’s how often I twat. I try to tell myself, “it’s okay, I’m a leader not a follower.”

I do really like the hashtag thing, but it might be a lazy way to tell a joke. It’s giving you the punchline without the clever quip. #snoring, #assholes, #penis enlarger. Maybe I don’t get point. Perhaps I’ll just use it anyway without ever getting it, like the rest of the people on twitter.

Alright, but here’s my real gripe, are these “trending” viral #videos, #blogs, #tweets, and #vlogs really trendsetters? Can this content really evolve, or should somethings be left untouched? I’m going to say it, I think most of these viral trendy trendsetters are nothing but one hit youtube wonders. I work in “the industry” (of entertainment), and lately they’ve been handing out TV shows and book deals to everything with over a million #hits, #followers, #likes. We all know what happened to Sh*t My Dad Says.  18 episodes and they were being generous because Shatner is a legend. I can’t quite get on board with White Girl Problems, but happen to know there’s a movie or TV show deal that came with the book. I read the first chapter and I just didn’t know if I could go on like that.  Youtube sensation Jenna Marbles has got a ton of people trying to monetize her “comedy” but we all really just loved her more when she was a broke girl trying to pay off her masters degree by go-go dancing. The turtle backpack and the f-bombs only go so far. I’m still pulling for her though, I think she’s better than youtube.

The best example I have has to do with #sushi, but it’s not about fish. When I was starting this blog, finding my voice, and diligently creating thoughts and essays about what it’s like to be an #intelligent #20-something #female who’s goals are a little loftier than getting engaged to a doctor and being handed a credit card, all while retaining the fact that I paint my toenails regularly and would die if my ass ever looked like a pancake. I wanted a place where it was okay to say that you liked sex and laughed at farts, but you could still be inspired. So I started searching for other blogs.

First of all, no one really reads anymore. We should all read more, for the sake of our attention spans alone. Anyway, I came across this blog Sushi For My Girls. Or maybe it was Sushi With My Girls. Either way it was like a five car pile up, I couldn’t tear myself away. It was highly offensive elitist must-wear-pearls, be-named-Ali, breathe-sushi, marry-a-lawyer, live-in-NYC crap, but they had #t-shirts. They were selling Sex in the City if it had 3 too many vodka tonics and did a line of coke for “funsies” that you could wear. The writing was awful, but people were #liking and #following all over the place.

Sushi With My Girls only averaged 1 post per month and stopped after 4, but they twitted about 20 tweets per day of idiotic ramblings. These members of society keep people like that plastic bimbo from The Hills and her BF in a EEE cup size. Why would you follow them on twitter? Somehow this fish loving fool got a TV deal less than one year after they launched. #Trending whatever, that’s all Hollywood is paying attention to now. And the people like me are just trying, hoping, praying to go viral so some one somewhere might say, “Hey, this girl can write, let’s give her a job.”

Last week a post about “what girls do on facebook” went viral. The blog it was posted on is primarily about the author’s struggle with fibromylagia. To which a friend of her’s commented, “Write about a crippling illness, no one gives a shit. Write about Facebook, the world explodes.” Dude, we have to be more responsible with what trends if Tinseltown is going to make a TV show out of every damn link that you post on your wall. If I knew it was that easy, I would have phoned it in from my parents house a long time ago instead of selling my soul to reality TV in Los Angeles.

Okay, you want the lesson? Here’s the lesson. When you don’t vote, it doesn’t count, right? When you don’t #like #follow #repost it won’t trend. Somewhere out there on the magical internet machine I bet there is a study that says, “Smart people are less likely to repost something they really enjoy than someone less smart.” So really, Hollywood… you’re just making a bunch of dumb crap made popular by stupid people.

Be the trend you want to see and know that your #like doesn’t count if you don’t click. You could, for example, #like my facebook page. You could also #share a link on your wall. You could #retweet me. If you find yourself coming back week after week, you could even #subscribe. If you are inspired by the stories you hear from the talented Ladies of the Month, you could #like their pages too. It won’t hurt, I promise. You will be making the internet a better place. You could even make television a better place, one click at a time. Be conscious of what you post and repost, Hollywood’s watching.

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