I-rish You Were Sluttier

March 16, 2012 § Leave a comment

You know I wouldn’t forget what tomorrow is. If you need brush up on my thoughts about the holiday, I provided a refresher course here. I haven’t decided if I’m going to brave the pub or just ride my bike down the beach in my green to gawk at all the posers. I’m a health kick, you know, so I don’t imagine much green beer. Anyway, in the spirit of it all, let’s bless these poor girls… the Irish way.

May that leprechaun never discover it was you who stole his best outfit.

May you never learn that wands aren’t an Irish thing and that people don’t like you just because you’re funny. Ignorance is bliss.

May you never find yourself in a game of strip poker wearing this outfit. There’s not a lot to bet on.

May you realize how slutty you look before leave the house and are mistaken for a stripper.

May the Irishman you wore this for leave the bar before he’s had too much whiskey to ruin the sentiment.

HAPPY ST. PADDY’S SMARTY SNATCHES!

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