June 11, 2012 § Leave a comment
Life of Walsh Episode: 107
I’m a loser. Actually scratch that, I’m a mess. Subsequently, I lose things in my mess. Current lost item: Clothing/shorts, grey, perfect for bike riding, beach going, and summertime day tripping. Last known whereabouts, closet… almost packed for gig at Indian Casino.
Whatever, I’m not perfect. And you aren’t either. I can’t stand those people who lose something and immediately blame someone else. You know who I’m talking about, the someone-stole-its of the world. No, no one stole your lip gloss, because you have a cold sore. Nut-up and admit you may have misplaced it. Deal. And maaayyy-be I’ll help you look for it.
Which brings me to my real point, the search. How is it that when I was growing up I would lose [insert important item here] and put off looking for it until my mother prompted me to. I’d trudge up to my room and do a half-ass glance around. Even under the bed, regardless if there was a possibility it would be there. It’s a place you look. Then I would go report back, “I can’t find it, it’s missing.”
Then she would retort with the situational threat, “If I went up there and looked for it, would I find it?”
My logical brain would think, “yes, be my guest, you are much better at finding stuff than I am.” But the psychological game turned on me, I didn’t want to deal with the wrath of her victory when she finds it in 30 seconds, then be turned away when I really needed her help finding something. Let’s be honest, nothing is really lost unless your mom can’t find it.
So I’d go up and really look. When I can’t find it I sheepishly slink down to find her and beg on the verge of tears. She then locates the missing article in 30 seconds. “What would you do if I wasn’t around?”
Fast forward to what I do now that she’s not around. There’s usually a time crunch involved, I’m a last minute type of person with panic, tears, and prayer. St. Anthony is one Catholic who has never let me down. “St. Anthony, St. Anthony please come around, something is lost that needs to be found.” Works every time.