In case you have to work…

July 4, 2012 § Leave a comment

In case you have to work on this national holiday, and you catch yourself daydreaming out the window trying to catch a whiff of BBQ, know that it’s complete crap that you have to work today, and we all feel for you. From our lawn chairs. We’ll have a cocktail for you.

I’ve worked my fair share of 4th’s surely. Retail has those big sales, restaurants give you time and a half and most of the time you get out early because only immigrants don’t attend picnics and everyone knows about the fireworks after dark. The American Dream, eh? Anyway, I don’t want to commiserate, but entertain.

This holiday is about drinking too much, blowing shit up and honoring the founding fathers for not wanting to pay taxes. If only that would fly today. Obviously a significant other, or close buddy is really useful for these types of holidays.

A couple years ago I was traveling solo and enjoying the holiday out on a friend’s lake. I was the third wheel to a recently ringed couple, but they were good people and made me drink just as much as them. After the fireworks we went for a late night boat cruise, when we docked and started to climb out the dock started to creak. Both feet on the dock and it collapses. I remember it in slow motion. My friend’s fiance reaches out to save her as I get thrown in from sandal to hat. My friend, not a drop on her. Clearly he could only grab hold of one of us, and she was more important. Now I don’t hold a grudge, it was just a rather large lesson. When I returned to LA after that trip, I called Mister Red the moment I landed and scheduled our first date for that night. The next time a dock was going to break there was going to be someone there to catch me.

There I distracted you for five minutes by a not so funny and kind of meaningless tale. It would almost be irrelevant except for the fact that it happened on the 4th of July and it was the only 4th of July story I can actually remember or wasn’t working (and that’s partially because it was somehow traumatic). Enjoy your independence.



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