What A Headache!

July 26, 2012 § Leave a comment

Migraines can be caused by different things, food ,stress, hormones, physical exertion and the list goes on because even though there’s an app for everything we still don’t know too much about the triggers of the monster migraine.

For me getting a migraine is stress kidnapping my brain. In the beginning I try to run away, avoiding the dark allies of thought. I convince myself the creep isn’t following my every move. I tell myself, “I just need to drink more water.” or “Maybe some vitamins.” or even “This sinus pressure is really killing me, lots of allergens in the air today.” Then I get irritable and I have trouble focusing. “Stupid space bar, acting like your friend Shift key, not doing shit.” “Why is no one emailing me! I need answers!” “I should check facebook. Again.” That’s when my guard is down. I’m running from the attacker but I’m distracted. I trip over my feet, I think ice cream might be a good idea, I’m angry over laundry day. All of which aren’t going to help me plan a proper escape.

Once I’m captured by the headache, I still think I can get out of it. Just a couple Advil and some coffee ought to do it. I’ll just close my eyes for 30 seconds and rub my temple. The migraine just laughs and haze sets in, like I’m bound, gagged and thrown into a dark basement. I’ve been down there for minutes that feel like hours. The light of day is painful, but I still have hope. If I lie really still with a pillow over my eyes in complete quiet for just a few minutes, maybe it will go away. I’m like a cat hiding under a table who’s forgotten it has a tail and the migraine is the 2 year old who’s going to pull it.

Minutes turn into to hours and someone nice brings me rations of water and a medicinal herb to curb the pain and nausea as my temples remain in a vice like torcher from a Quentin Tarantino movie. At this point I just gotta ride it out.

After I’m released, I’m sore, tired, and feeling dumb. I think the migraine hangover might be the worst part. I’m constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure the migraine is not lingering for a repeat attack. I’m distracted, fatigued and foggy to say the least. Like I’m repressing horrible memories or have experienced brain damage on par with a heavy night of drinking or that I have been abducted by aliens and they took a portion of my brain for study. I forget words and basic functions like fire is hot, water is wet and lube is not a great toothpaste. This post apocalyptic state often last longer than the migraine itself, a constant state of hungover no greasy breakfast and electrolights could cure.

They say 1 in 6 women suffer from migraines, 1 in 10 men and most experience them in the prime of their life from 20-60. If you don’t get migraines please feel special, but try to understand the severity of the symptoms in others. Before I had my first migraine in the summer of 2008 after days of stress from an unruly superior, I thought it was just a really bad headache. “Just could walk it off. Don’t be a weakling, just a itty bitty head hurt.” I thought migraine victims were just exaggerating. Once I got one, then I felt really bad. It’s like being pissed that there’s traffic only to learn that the real life version of Speed was occurring on the very same highway. So be nice to your friends who experience the occasional neurological storm and accept my apology for not posting yesterday and for this not being that funny.

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