The Big O

March 26, 2013 § 1 Comment

First Posted March 7th 2011 

Oxytocin. Have you heard of it? They say it’s the cuddle hormone. It triggers labor pains, it’s also the reason why new moms love their babies so much even though they look like little alien things from another planet. Men produce far less oxytocin than women, which is why we occasionally cry at fabric softener commercials. Guilty as charged. Oxytocin levels rise as bonding encounters increase: touching, caring, experiencing an orgasm, experiencing multiple orgasms etc. You’re hooked, you’re attached, you want to glue him to your hip and feed him chocolate.

I don’t like to admit this, but I’ve had a couple of boyfriends who I have absolutely hated the first time I met them. I hung around them for one reason or because I was forced to and they literally grew on me, we were feeding off each other’s oxytocin. It’s funny how quick shameless office flirtation leads to sex. Bam, I am hooked.

Riddle me this. I’m not a hugger, so when I get a surge of oxytocin from sex I am in love with this doofus. I have hormone-goggles on. I was broken up by the Polar Bear because I was finally getting the oxytocin I normally deprive myself of when I don’t let my hairdresser give me a hug. This is why people tell me to get a cat! If I had a pet I would feel sufficiently cuddled. And if I were sufficiently cuddled maybe every casual relationship wouldn’t feel like an arranged marriage. Or every guy who just isn’t that into me wouldn’t seem like he’s the last man on earth with a good pair of testicles.

But damn it feels good to be in love, or think you’re in love, or just be high on oxytocin. Maybe I will get a cat.

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§ One Response to The Big O

  • Betty says:

    This is why I have a dog, unconditional, slightly slobbery love. At least he always attempts to make out with me, even though I think he has an Oedipal complex of mother love. And I am not above comparing my man to the dog, “If only you paid as much attention to me as the dog does, picking up your socks wouldn’t make me angry.”

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