Ode To My Hips

July 22, 2014 § Leave a comment

Hips are useful, hips are great,

Hips can get you a second date.

Hips are useful for other things as well,

More than just making certain men swell.

Hips are for balancing babies while you keep a hand free.

Hips are for groceries, because you can’t hold that shit on one knee.

Hips are for dancing and maybe unwanted attention.

Hips are for hip checking your bestie, aka: a sign of affection.

Hips are armrests for hugs with handles of love.

Hands on both hips shows power if push comes to shove.

Hips can push a drawer in or close a car door,

When your hands are so full and so far is the floor.

Hips are for belts to keep slouchy slacks upright.

Swing them around if you hear a good beat, don’t be uptight!

Hips are for laundry baskets, and help hold up jeans.

Hips keep your skirt in the right place, don’t be obscene.

Hips have been popular through out the decades,

They’ve had on poodle skirts, bell bottoms, and fanny packs with rollerblades.

There are lots of definitions of a woman to be kept,

But nothing like hips on a curvy silhouette.

Be proud of your humps, wide, flat, narrow, or round!

Your hips can stop traffic without even a sound.

So no matter your shape, go ahead and swing them about!

Not a thing sexier than a gal’s hips with no lies and no doubts!




I have a bit of writer’s block so I went back in my childhood to Dr. Seuss days. I’ve written a terrible poem about hips. I’m sorry, I’m not sorry (#sorrynotsorry). Is there a topic you’d want me to write about? Or one that you think I need to revisit? Thanks so much for reading! Tell your friends!



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